...Might have said..

i wrote a much happier more free spirited entry earlier...but i decieded to delete it and leave you with this instead....

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Back in October while in Orlando, I was asked If i have ever really been "in love".like really in love..and there was no pause in response no thought of regret no second guessing,  i pointed to a boy next to me and replied "yes". and the truth is..I still am..He was fast asleep unaware of us discussing about him..How, Why, and such and he'll never know.heaven help me for saying thing..

My Pillow smelt like you today.. i could have laid there forever..

I'm pathetic i know

[ x ] Why do I ruin prefectly good relationships over you?[ x ] Why is it your always in the back of my head?[ x ]Why am I so scared?[ x ] I hate you for this you know that right[ x ] Oh how i wish you'd get your shit together perhaps thats what stoped me those few times[ x ] I'm always disappointing myself, one moment i'm over you i hate your guts, but in all honesty I never have and i guess i never will[ x ] I hope your wonderfully happy with her now..

There it's said and done it's out there, this me spilling my heart out and this is me finally moving on. not getting over you, This is why it bothers me so when you call me I will always think of you. I know we will never be an "us" again i'm aware of that..maybe thats what hurts the most.

But I feel so much better now that it's said,

[ x ] i'm finally grasping the reality of it all.....

 

I'm not holding back anymore in the future because of you, i have come to realize it only hurts innocent people in the end..on my behave...

<3

        ... I apologize to anyone that is hurt by this entry..