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when my father left My mother was devastated cried and cried and i just simply went on with my life i didn't think anything of it i'm not good in emotional situations Though i have had my heart broken i know what it feels like the pain yet i could not comfort my mother at all i was only able to say "It'll be alright, don't cry "I have been lied to and deceived by boys Yet i was the same way towards others why? i'll never know the answer I have never felt unloved i love my family more then anything in this world i have never put effort for anything i get by, simply put I do not aim for the gloriness of something nor does it effect me when i have done my worse when i read this over it makes me out to be cold and numb I have had love in my life i have been touched by boys who have hearts made of gold, and been touched by some who just do it because it's in there nature I am content with being alone and i am not disappointed if no one calls me in the evening Though there are times when i wish i had someone to wake up to, to expect phone calls from, to get excited for I've had that feeling come and go, when a guy enters my life but in the end i just could not give them my all, due to the fact my heart is set somewhere else I will always love him and perhaps one day we will be together but i won't hold my breath i have done countless regrettable things to him and to others in the past due to me being selfish and now his heart is set somewhere else now An I have to live with that for the rest of my life this is going no where just spilling out my thoughts about things that have no meaning i am who i am and i can't change that I'm wonderfully happy where i am in my life i have regrets as does everyone, and i live my life day by day i buy things i want/need and give when wanted/needed i would not change a thing