i'm sleepy..and hungry at the moment..
i plan on going home, and finding something unhealthy to put in my stomach..then i shall bath..and go to my empty bed..and fall asleep...
thank god. i only have one more day of this...
i'm looking foward to this weekend..thats for sure.
<3
i'm excited to see you..
to be honest jealousy filled me when we talked today and went over what we got for Christmas and when it came to what our significant others got us, and what we had got them..and when we spoke over your week, and what you would be doing..especially this Friday...
this isn't normal...i am well aware of this..
please tell me you feel the same......
that i am not insane for feeling this
it's so much easier to type it over this thing
then tell you over the phone or in person..
i am at tears..blame it on the alcohol or
the break in my heart
i get so tired of missing you..
Christmas 4 days away.. and i'm done with shopping thank goodness
i do not understand why a certain boy gives me an attitude for no reason, it's quite upsetting if you ask me..
My computer will finally be fixed today..Yay!!!
i will be even more blonde at 7:30 this evening.. now that's something to be excited about.
I like having conversations with you, I've missed you..
Next Friday i'm going to get ink on my back, and now i believe that is all i have to update about...
Thanks for wasting a little bit of your life reading this..
love always,
britni
i'm alive.. surprise!
things are well...my computer is dead.. reason why i haven't updated in ages..
as if anyone missed me..
i believe that is all..
oh and i almost died last night.. a car was a few feet away from 't-boning' me..
i hope you miss me....
<3
today i recieved my concealed weapons license..
an tonight or should i say this evening was...a dinner date for one..i proceeded to make myself a plate of brie cheese and fresh strawberry..and french bread. then i drank a whole bottle of white wine by myself..rented two movies and sat in my room...
and now i'm here sitting on this thing.. updating this horrid thing.
next week i'm starting to have weekends off.. i feel so grown up...
i believe that is all i have worth updating about it..
things could be better in certain areas, but hey.. it happens..
love
britni
so i'm packing for Jason this evening and you'd think i was going on a month trip to some exotic island..i am a horrible packer..i.e.. i over pack all the time..
Lola chewed on my gold flip flops, and i'm a little sad about it..
she goes to the vet tomorrow for her shots and shes not gonna be happy about that..
I got a raise today at work..a very pleasant surprise
there are a million shows coming up in the next two months that i'm ecstatic about
-Sept. 17th Every Time i Die
-Sept. 24th Pennywise
-Oct. 9th My Chem/Alk.3/Reggie and the Full Effect
-Oct. 23rd Norman Jean/Darkest Hour/Still Remains
-Oct.28th Coheed & Cmabria/Blood Brothers/mewithoutyou
-Oct.30th Death Cab for Cutie
-Nov.7th From Autumn to Ashes/BOY SETS FIRE
-Nov 11th THRICE/Underoath/The BLED
-Nov. 16th Hawthrone Heights/Silverstein/BAYSIDE
i already have my tickets for Pennywise and the Alk.3 shows..now it's just the other ones i must get..
i need a hair cut, my hair hasn't been this long since last march, i hate it...and i'm tired of being dark, i wish i was still blonde..stupid me..
okay i'm going crazy..
i'd really like to go to the beach one of these days soon before it gets cooler..
done..
<3
i lost my burts bee's chap stick tonight..i think i might be the sadest girl in the world right now..
i got it rough..psshhh..i'm full of horse shit...
i'm drunk
britniMarlana...
'It seems like you’re holding me down and it just seems pointless to work this thing out. So what’s holding me back? A lifelong friendship’s not worth this. I’ll hide this one deep underground Convenience can comfort you now but the words that you said you can never have back. I’m warning you now, when you realize you made a mistake I’ll be sure to kick while you’re down. I gave you this gift, now I’m here alone and I’m paying for it. Our light’s almost out but I’ll smile again the day that you figure out….. …….I was all that you had.'
i love me some quotes..
exoh.
brit
"I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."
i had horrible sushi today with Mike and Gwen.
blah..now i don't feel too cute.
tomorrow i'm venturing down south..to become a drunken mess.
i need more tattoos.i didn't say want for a reason.. but i need them. not want them.
the other evening i came across haha.. it makes me laugh when i think about it. But i came across the bowl bobby bought for me my first b-day we ever spent together down in clearwater, i was turning 18 and me him and lisa sat in the hotel room and drank girlie drinks. and i proceeded to show off my skim board skills. i was a joke. then i drove 2 hours to drop him off at home because he couldn't sleep with me, i remember me and lisa sitting in my corrolla driving half asleep, and all i could talk about was how much Bobby drove me crazy (in a good) i was head over heels for the boy. After i came across that little gift, i sat down on the floor in my room and spread out every letter/card the boy ever wrote me, and i remembered how young and in love we were. i don't think i have ever felt that same way towards anyone. I'm a horrible person for what i did to that boy...
time heals all wounds? yeah! sure thing!
<3
'I'm very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening's over.'-Gone with the Wind.
<3
went out with the girls after work..to bilmar station..
i'm excited for this weekend....
i missed darkest hour last night.=(
i need to do my nails..eck..
we traded in a GSX 750 at work today.. and i want it..really bad..
the underneath of my hair.. is bleach blonde..very very cute..i'm so scene. meh..
i really need to win the lotto.
i bought the cutest shirt at LUCKY last night at the mall..well worth the money.
-i haven't seen a certain someone in quite sometime..and i highly doubt i will anytime soon..I'm another girl on his phone.. to rack up minutes with.. very nice..im done calling you, you never call me-
okay i am done..
you don't miss me and i surely don't miss you.
i think i'm gonna throw up..
<3
p.s. i'm pregnant
i'm no longer a blonde
and i shall be alone this weekend due to the boy going away to visit some chick..
ain't life grande?
it's all the same to me.
<3
before and after..
spent quite a bit time today.. at the tattoo shop.. Mike. the artist.. was a spitting image of Bobby.but shorter and shit more tattoos..along with muscle.. It was crazy..hmph.. it's a shame the boy is outta my life....
Miss the kid something terrible..
but i'm overily happy with what i got done.. i still need much work done.. but in time....
other then that it's been a pretty uneventful weekend.....
thank you again Roger.. for taking me..and buying me breakfast..and chik-fil-a =)
ciao..
<3
JUNE
Sunday 19-Lucero
Monday 27-Chemical Romance
Tuesday 28-Darkest Hour
JULY
Thuesday 7-Alkaline Trio with Rise Against
the next 3 weeks are going to be amazing..Wonderful shows..and the weekend of 4th of July i'm going down to cape coral for a wedding.. I'm accompanying Mike to this..This saturday at 1:00 sharp i'm getting my side done..eEeEe..i'm so excited about that..Last night i was searching through my closet to find something to wear..(no luck) my mama was like 'Why don't you just tattoo your whole body then you won't have to wear clothes..' i thought it was amusing..I didn't go to the castle last night with the boy and his friends because.. for one i couldn't find shit to wear..hmph..and second.. i wasn't in the mood to drive, and i didn't feel so good and blah blah.. though i miss the fella.. tons..i needed to catch up on my sleep.. being for the past two weeks i've worked almost 12 hours each day... sucks..
my morning so far has been very productive though..Got my oil changed in the truck..went to the doctor.. and then got my truck detailed because it was filthy from going to Croom few weeks ago, and the rain.. there was sand all in the inside, along with tie downs and my helmet.. it was gross..plus i got my quad back from the shop.. from when i hit the tree.EeEee..600 bucks later.. it's brand new again..
-I love the fact my ring tone is Lucero to..it makes me smile everytime someone calls me.-
- I believe this is my first real post in ages, it's quite refreshing-
-My dog Jack is quite possibly the best dog in the world, i don't think they get any better then him. anyone who has ever met him can back me up on that-
-I miss having kitties around..someone buy me a kitten-
-It's funny when you go into the doc. your always watching people picking at them. trying to figure out whats wrong with them-
okay i'm done.. i must go read..
<3
Lucero is my new ring tone and thats all i have to say about that.. things couldn't be better..
went to Hawthrone heights and acceptance tonight with Celeste and Ash.. we were groupies after the show, and wrote all over H.H table cloth.. it was fabulous.. anywho.. i yelled at little kids for almost spilling my beer.. and this little fuck who asked me for money.. it was a good evening to sum it up..
wish i could of hung out with someone this evening.. but he was cranky on the phone today.. so why bother..
going to out to cape coral i believe july 2 to the 4...Jason's.. friend Mike..a.k.a. pono needed a date for a wedding since his gal couldn't go.. i was more then happy to.. It's a mini vaction for me so i'm mucho excited about leaving tampa for a few.
only other highlight of my month is the new darkest hour c.d coming out the 28th and thats it...oh and hopefully getting more ink done soon.. if a certain someone calls and what not.. hint*hint*....doubt it.
g'nite...
i love this fucking girl..
girls night tonight.. the boy will come another day..hopefully..
pay day you know what that means.....
<3
'Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment, ?I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it?, and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet there was one.'
i'm sad, and sleepy and not in the mood at all to go to work today..i just wanna lay between my satin sheets for days upon days untill i'm fully recovered over this, and forget everything bad and wrong with this so called life of mine.
thee end.
okay this is it.. for today anyways..
these are from the bachorlette party.... =)
i am a dummy
i have the greatest friends ever
we are too cute
i miss things
that is all
<3
label whore.
more very very old pics.. haha.. it's amazing how refeshing this is...
those were the good ol days
i love my H.S pic.. i'm straight outta an american eagle ad.
ahh.. going back in the day.. pictures of moi.. in the past.. year.. my hair was far too long.. and now i've only gone shorter and blonder.. very nice..
i only like the right side of me..i was extremely bored yesterday waiting for the boy to call..expecting to head over there after he got off.. all dolled up. but i ended up just waiting and washing my face at 10:30 when i heard nothing..hmph..
sad little ol me...pity me.
he promised to take me to the beach today.. and it's already almost 11.. and still no call from him...
i had a very weird dream last night about old loves, i enjoyed it though because everything went exactly how i wanted it.. it turned out perfect.
[x]exhale.[x]
WARNING:
Do not read any futher if you don't want to know about star wars.
saw stupid ass Star War movie last night with my friend Andrew..blah.. by the way. Anakin StarWalker is Darth Vader. And Luke fucks his sister...nice.. i just ruined it for who ever sees that movie.
i'm going deep sea fishing today with the folks out by hudson area.
Lucero has not left my c.d player since i purchased it.Fantastic.
alright i hear my daddy pulling up..
p.s. i'm a raw vegan now..fruits nuts and veggies.thats it.
i had a fabulous faux hawk for the wedding.. a stylish one though..straight outta the paris runways.. i loved it. along with anyone else with taste..
i'm home i have to work tomorrow blah..the california boys are gone, safe to say i shall miss them.. hopefully i'll be seeing them soon, they said i'm more then welcome to come out and visit..perhaps i will?..
the new Lucero c.d comes out tomorrow and i'm beyond excited.. def. going to stop by vinyl fever and pick it up.. it should be a good week..work two days off two days.. nice.. very nice.
today i spent it with the boy, *smile*
i'm going to bed now though... night.
well..well..well..today hmph.. is the day.. i'm up early because i have to go pick up Charlene, at 9:30 this morning then were off to the Salon, for a fabulous fun filled day of hair and make-up..
last night was good..the party went flawless, and everyone had a nice time..The call when i got home from the boy..was not. Just tired of shit. in general..yeah sure i'm his woman, what not. he adores me or so he says, but then he says things, and i know he's a jerk.. everyone does, but he just says shit that he could care less and i just wanna throw my hands up, and say fuck you. Push that nail a little deeper why don't you..I told him to not bother with coming today, i'll go alone, because i'm tired of these little fights we get into.. he likes the bottle a little to much. meh. who knows..
i'm tired of it all..i'm far too young to feel this damn old....
and the pussycat dolls are my guilty pleasure...
i'm literally a drunk.. i've pretty much drank every night this week.. sucks.. but i'm having a good time, it will be over soon...the wedding day is on sunday, and the Hunter's Green Country club.. yadda yadda went out with the infamous cali boys last night with gwen and ryan.. a wonderful time..
i worked my ass off this week for Gwen's rehersal dinner..fuck.. that girl needs to thank me over and over again, for the shit we went through..sheesh..but none the less it looks beautiful..today i'm relaxing i ain't doing shit, b/c i've done shit all week...
blah blah blah.. this is a complaining journal..=)
oh by the way, the boy apologized for the other evening, and look me out to lunch and dinner the following day, he couldn't explain why he said or whatever.. but he felt bad, so he made up for it i suppose..meh..there is only so much more i can take. Yesterday my dad calls me and is like Your uncle mike is selling his house, do you think you would wanna move out and move in with a roommate or something, and i'm like nice awesome i'd love to.. but i don't have a roommate to move in with.. all my friends are living with other friends, or getting married and living with there boyfriend...and he was just like oh, well it was a thought or whatever. I love my daddy.
but i'm gonna go down stairs and lay around and do jack shit today..
later..
so went up to peabodys with gwen and the west coast boys, Jason met me up there with his roomate and her friend..
so having not seen the boy in about a week, and i'm all giddy to see him, and all i get from him is a whispered 'Don't love on me right now' ????? what?????...i pull back and just walk away.. what the fuck? perhaps i'm over reacting or maybe it was one of his sarcastic comments..who knows... but all i know is..i'm at home right now.. angry and drunk.. and ready to cry my eyes out..
whatever..so i lied when i said things were going great...lying. it's one of my specialties....
the boy cycle..hmph.. it's tragic....love em' and leave em'
i need me some major passion in my life..big time..pronto.
it's almost over..thank goodness...
hung out with Ryans friends from cali timpleton i believe to be exact... two fella's who belong in FL, i introduced one to boiled peanuts..cajun style and he was like 'those are trippy, they like melt in your mouth' and the both said i would fit in perfect in cali, and that i should visit..Their CA style always makes me smile.. can pick you west side boys out in a sec. i love it.
my comp likes to not work, so i can't post any pics from the bachlorette party on saturday. meh...
anywho, i'm off to slumber..
happiness psshhh..i'm a fake
i bought an amazing chocolate brown dress at Express today, for Gwen's rehersal dinner on saturday..it's beautiful..and what makes me even more happy, is that it's a size 4 and it's still a little too big, yay for me..
last evening was fantastic we had a hummer limo, for the night for the bachlorette party.i had my bottle of sailor jerry rum, great friends around me and ghetto music blasting i was set.. we were loud through-out ybor, and had a fabulous time.. then around 2 Gwens like. 'i wanna see boobies'..so we find ourself at Thee Dollhouse.. where gorgeous skinny, girls roomed, and each of us girls recieved a lap dance..from a beautiful blonde.. on the way home the boy was a jerk on the phone for what reason? who knows...so this morning i get a message from him apologizing, yadda..yadda..blah.
i've been listening to the infamous lesbian sisters all day..on repeat..my nails are freshly painted sheer pink. im cravin sushi really bad at the moment though.. but i refuse to go eat it by myself..i think im gonna go wonder downstairs and find some dinner...
bye-bye
i'm in love with my new arnettes..white rage ones i might add.. i have black.. but my life just wasn't complete without the white ones.. spent the day with the boy after i got my hair done.. i like the boy tons. and. tons.
'You're so cute' he says.. i'll have to agree..i am adorable.. my fantastic personality does wonders for my looks..
but it's late and heaven knows what i'm still doing up.
p.s. if you haven't already known i'm spoiled, and selfish, and gosh darn pretty, and people like me damn it.
g'nite.zZzzzZzzzZzzZzZZZ.....
p.s. i'm forgetting memories of you, and that makes me a little sad..remind me of some, make me smile, make my heart skip a beat a tiny bit...if only you talked to me.. it's a shame..i'm over you, but i miss you terribly..i should hunt you down and make you see me..make all those feelings come rushing back to you...what on earth would go through your head if i did?..i wish i just got a e-mail from you..anything. and yes i'm talking about you bobby...i still have pictures of you in my room.. pathetic i know. we were both young and obsessed...
I am the walking dead heartbreaker,
my apologie.....
today i'm going shorter and blonder.but not boy short.. but a chic bob...then i gotta shop for Gwens Bachlorette party on saturday..typical..ybor. So if you wonder down there and see a bunch of beautiful loud gals.. hootin' and hollerin'.. thats us.
-Saturday.Day- going to st.pete to watch extreme sports..competition.show. some tour is putting on.. i only have minor details of it..but it should be a fantastic time, i'm exccited.
-Things have been going quite well for me.. great in fact..*surprising* i'm just waiting for it to come tumbling down on me sooner or later..more sooner then later. but for the time being i'm enjoying the company i have, and the wonderful times i'm having, and the great days at work that continue to come..ah.. minus that i haven't talked to my mother since tuesday..being that she discovered the recent 'ink' i have now.. haha.. my dad stuck up for me about it, while she stormed outta his condo. after dinner. oh well..she will live..but i'm gonna go wash my truck, and bask in the sun before my app.
<3
things are well...things weekend looks promising..that is if a certain someone doesn't bail on me again....
that is all...
you miss me terribly i know...perhaps it works both ways....
i don't' expect you to understand..forgive me.
'She'll only break your heart, it's a fact. And even though I warn you, even though I guarantee you that the girl will only hurt you terribly, you'll still pursue her. Ain't love grand?'
<3
i'm beyond bored..end result me updating again.. by the way i'm in a horrible mood. Thank you.
i love how naive i am.. I am quick to believe anything, it's sad.. i can only hang my head in shame, when i think back on certain times..even now. tsk tsk.. oh how i admired you, i love stumbling across things.. lies..lies.. and more of them.. i hope you throw up your heart today, i hope you feel like shit everytime you think of me, i hope you regret ever knowing me, or giving yourself up so easy to me.. i hope you hate that you cried over me..begged me to return to you...Today could have been something wonderful..
a drink goes straight to my heart.
i use to feel so much, now i just feel dumb. I'll never understand this emptiness, i'll never really try to understand.. i guess....
p.s. i love me some Ryan Adams.
yeah..so much for plans today.. pretty much the waiting around for your phone call or a little bit of excitment in your voice when i called..was fucking pointless.. you state.. 'don't be mad' easier said then done...whatever.. shame on me for being excited the past two weeks to hang out with you.... but like i said before only time we do hang out or talk is all on my part....i get nothing from your end...ever.
'le sigh'
but on a better note.. chesney last night was dreamy, a fantastic show i must say, and i'm a little more fonder of good ol. Gretchen Wilson..who knew..afterwards i went over to the boys house, and hung out and talked galore with adam..his outrageous stories are hilarious. Then woke up around 4 with the boy breaking his phone, because he couldn't get it turned on, and his temper gets the best of him, more then i like to admit.. but oh well..
anywho.. i have multiple things i could do tonight.. just me making up my mind on who i should grace with my presence...
farewell....
now my hair is making me mad.. because it's too long to do anything with.. and too short also.. so i'm going next week.. to cut it off again...
__I have been living off of cereal for the past week and a half.. that and peanut butter toast..very nice.. i might add..i'm still sick.. bleh..sucks..
my island mango candle is delightful though..
oh and by the way... I am just that fabulous
im sick as dog.. if thats possible...there was no way i was going into work today..my voice sounds as if i'm going through puberty like a 12 year old boy, and there is times when my lips are moving but no words are coming out... hmph.
this weekend was good.. weny shopping all day on saturday. Jason bought me the new Palahniuk book. 'Haunted' very good so far..
and what else has made my year.. is That Lucero is coming eEeEeEeeEeEe!! with the infamous Cory Bronan June 19. I'm buying my tickets today if it's possibly.. then June. 1 Bright eyes with The Faint, me and Erik will have a wonderful time.. July. 7 Alk. 3 with Rise Against. The new Alk.3 c.d is decent.. Erik burned me a copy of his bootleg one.. Underoath is this month.next Friday.. and I'm going to Chesney this friday, with the girls from work.. i'm busting out my cowboy boots.. Then Saturday. should be nice..hanging out with a familiar face..
"I watched you take off your clothes and slip under the sheets,then i turned and kicked the boots off of my feet, i pull you close with out a word because theres no need to speak, ill be gone in the morning, in the morning ill be gone.im not one for hanging on."
Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously
Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable
Cause I believe in loving you with first sight
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to..
To take a hold of you
today was good.. slow at work.but whatever, i'm going this week to get my motorcyle endorsment put on my license..this week should be alright..Gwen's bridal shower is on sunday.. the days keep coming faster and faster..__________
'by the way, yesterday evening with you, felt like old times. perhaps it was just me who felt that way, but i've missed your silly antics, and i'm glad were 'friends' even though it's really wierd.. i'd hate to explain our relationship to someone... but i promise i'll never leave..i'll always want you in my life.. in any way, shape, or form... don't ever be a 'jerk' again...'
you were a great ending to the weekend..Thank you for finally seeing me..
<3
p.s. i think it's fantastic how girls rule a boys life, and won't allow so called 'friends' be friends..tsk tsk...i got the highest or more lowest score on my riding evaluation today, i got one point. blah blah.. i passed with flying colors, and i was the best rider out there..i don't wanna go to work tomorrow.. and someone buy me a house. or give me loads of money to buy one...on about 15 acres...hmph.. g'nite
move away with me, and lets live off fruity drinks, and become wrinkly and brown, i'll let you love me, and perhaps, i'll break down and give you my heart..we'll forget everything and everyone, i won't regret a thing.. i promise..
i'm far too young to be setting boundries, you say when, and i'll be more then happy to go...
p.s. my tattoo looks fantastic.. i'll post pics later on..
it was wonderful hearing your voice again this evening.. forgive me for my drunken slur...oh how i've missed you...
'There goes the boy...'
so i swear i've sneezed a good hundred times in just the past few hours..It's great.
the party sat. evening was fabulous, the drive there though sucked.. but whatever i was squeezed between tory and jason, in the back of the bmw, and Ryan continued to put on rap shit, and i continued to yell. "Turn that shit off your not in cali anymore Ryan, you too Tory." but returning from the Party and driving back to Jason's and finally in bed with Jason holding me and breathing heavy on me, i had horrible nightmares, but i could have sworn they were real, like it was really happen, everything was blurry and jason was so heavy laying on me, and i couldn't move him and he just kept squeezing tighter, and i couldn't yell and i wanted to cry so bad, it was horrible, then i wake up this morning and tell him i had bad dreams last night and that he was trying to hurt me, and i couldn't move, and he just smiled and said 'I probably was.'...hmph.. that boy.. i dunno i'm babbling
friday evening i made Adam eat half a page of the yellow pages only his fault though because he can swallow things half way and then spit them back out, and i was like wow.. can you do it with random objects, so i started naming rando stuff and got repeated no's we agreed on the yellow pages, and he could do it only because he took a swig of his drink and swallowed it, but i laughed till my tummy hurt...it was one of those you had to be there things..
saturday during the day.. i wondered int. mall...spent a galore at bebe, and rhuel, and bought new Roxy shoes for work..and fossil i pretty much own everything they have this season..
during this week someone.. i'm gonna get ink done.. i'm going with the whole.. cover of Arcade Fire, and some of the JET c.d.. down my hip/side... im excited my mama on the other hand is not..i love how people are always like.. 'Wow your tattoo is awesome, your so petite and you have this huge tattoo on your back..'=)
okay i've had enough of this..
<3
'If you still want me please forgive me because your hands are not upon me. I shrugged them off before my mom walked in my bedroom. The pains of love, and they keep growin', in my heart there's flowers growin' , on the grave of our old love, since you gave me a straight answer. If you still want me, please forgive me, the crown of love is not upon me. If you still want me, please forgive me, because the spark is not within me, it's not within me, it's not with me. You gotta be the one, you gotta be the way your name is the only word that i can say! La la la la la al ala la al ala la lalaaaaalaio8uergieoklnji'
I'm getting my motorcycle license next week.. woot.
hopefully in the next month or two, i'll be getting a new truck.
I have Fridays and Saturdays off now from work.. nice.
I'm going to a get together this evening with the boy, and some friends out in lakeland..
And being that alpine star sent me the wrong sticker there sending me the right one, along with some other ones..i love free stuff..
and i recieved my 'Under and Alone' by William Queen book yesterday for Jason, he was excited..
ok, i'm off to international mall to shop for this evening...things are well very well...I'm at a fantastic part in my life, and i don't think it could get any better then this..
<3
so i'm home now from the keys and this evening with Skip, we went and saw The Unseen and Tiger Army.. good time i might add.. though i wish Unseen played a longer set.. oh well..
keys were wonderful.
i'm home in tampa again.. blah..
i missed the boy...
and that is all..
i love how the goverment takes all my money to, that makes me feel FANFUCKINGTASTIC..
oh well...
tomorrow is my friday..yay... and i had the hiccups all the way home tonight.. i hated it.
[x]this post includes pics from the keys..[x]
exs and hos.
these are pics from a few weeks back when me and the girls.. cowgirled out.. at round up.. and what not.. i was drunk and don't really recall taking em'...oh well..
work was good this evening.. i cannot complain
i bought 'Closer' and watched it.. that i'd have to say is one of my fav. movies..
i miss people..alot
'sigh'
so...
,
.
.
life is pretty damn good..made our bonus for the month soo that means i'll be almost a thousand bucks richer.. very nice.
i'm going to BrassMug this evening with Celeste to check out open jam. but if thats bad.. were going to the Greenery for Erik's b-day and what not...
.
.
.
and that is all...
i'm going to the keys in 4 days.. for almost a week.with the folks. and ya'll are jealous..
i'm gonna be nigger brown.. and sun bleached, and drunk..
_________________________
this evening was girls night.. an awesome evening.
but all is well.. discovered on friday with Jason at the doggy beach it was horseshoe crab mating season?.. he called me a little kid for poking at em' and riping em apart.. there was tons of em'... getting busy.. it was great.
g'nite
.
'all i want is one more chance
to be young and wild and free
all I want is one more chance to show you,
you were right for me!
reunion, reunion, reunion,reunion.....'
it's been ages since i did a photo update.. so.. here.. it is..
spent forever at borders and got a new journal..then drove around Brandon..and thought about things..tons of things.
'I wish it didn't hurt with every thought of you'
happy easter. i hate holidays like this because after all the family is gone, and the food is put away.. there ain't shit to do. So i'm left now to drive around aimlessly untill i come across some entertainment..
hmph..so sad.
'i think i'll go out and embarrass myself
by getting drunk and falling down in the street
you say i choose sadness
that it never once has chosen me
maybe you're right'
i'm heading over to Gwenies at the moment to drink away the doubt..
but i am alive and well.. for the far and few who still continue to read this.. sad thing.
this weekend was good.. went out with the girls on saturday.. a drunken time.. sang our hearts out to moulin rouge sd.tk. and pat benatar. yadda yadda...
spending what little days off Jason has off, being he's going away to boston for spring break, with the fellas, for a week, don't ask me why on earth he's going to the frezzin cold.dummy.boston sucks. then he gets back and goes away again for a week..hmph.. i shall be all alone for that time..but on saint pattys day i'm going out with a few fellas from work at this irish pub down in south tampa, should be a fantastic time..
hopefully going to the AMA on the 19th in orlando but we shall see if Mr. Man mentions anything to me about it..*hint*hint*..
alright.. i must go find something sweet for my tooth..
<3
this is me updating...
thee end..
"the love he sales you in the evening, by the morning won't exist."
so.. the weekend is at it's end..last night i did spring cleaning.. went through everything.. yadda yadda.. i couldn't bare to let go of some things. old love letters from a certain someone(broken promises),and my old h.s. cheerleading poms..ect,
'le sigh'
yesterday i spent about 200 bucks at the mall.then a good 50 at victoria secrets.. on much needed spring clothes and a new pair or blue II jeans..then right there are 90 bucks in themselves..anywho.. i'm thinking about moving out. since i got a fantastic raise at work.. now i just gotta save up some, and start hunting.. then i'll finally get my dog.. being as my mom promised she would buy me one as a house warming gift whenever i moved out...lucky me.
btw. i love this weather..and i have the biggest sweet tooth right now.. I'm gonna go wonder down stairs and find me something..
i love how beautiful he makes me feel, and how he never wants me to go..eEeEe!
so i'm sick..i think. perhaps.. who know.. but i'm not at work..
the last three days have been nice.. spent with the boy of course..wenesday night went out to Gators and did the normal.. drink and stand around and make fun of peope.. highlight of the night.. 'Your so pretty, i've been looking around and your the prettiest here' thursday ran errons, then went out for Gwens b-day went to mangroves then Soho whiskey park.. not my cup of tea.. i'm too lower class for the place. i'd rather hang out in a hole in the wall bar then there every again..Friday: boy yet again, ran errons, then he cooked on the grill.. yadda yadda..
and now i'm here.. bored.. listening to Lucero, about to clean my room, because i had a fit the other night and had nothing to wear, and now my clothes are all over my bed, and shoes all over the floor..
p.s. my crack is forever creeping outta my jeans..and i love it.
can you say pig tails..finally??.......
Emily says i look like i belong on the beach. and i'd have to agree with her.
so finally... i have my cowboy boots.. 168 bucks later..EeeEeEeee!!
i love the new Lucero song on th Atticus 3 c.d.. eEeEeEe!!
i get to see the boy on Thursday... EeeEeeE!!
and i'm rich, and great, and have wonderful people in my life..EeEeEe!!!!
last night was good.. no complaints, and i love sleeping in the boys bed squished between.. fat ass brindle (american bulldog) and Jason (the boyfriend) i got brindle snoring on one side of me and then a heavy arms draped over me.. haha. i love it.. and then waking up, and being pinned down and being asked to call in and stay with him all day, is quite a nice feeling..
work was slow today.. which was cool i suppose but it dragged..
anywho, i'm off to do something... anything but stay home..
ciao
i hate little moods people get into, and then take it out on me.. 'sigh'...
disney was fantastic for those who care.. a little nippy but fun none the lease..The boy is great, though his drunken behavior is not.. i can only shake my head in shame, and take it easy, and know he's better then that.. it's for those times in the late evening when we're going to bed or waking up in the morning that makes up for all the drunkeness, He's like a little puppy dog, which you can only love on and show affection to, when they have just woken up or really really sleepy..silly thing.
Valentines day was good, i got a huge iron cross from my mama, and a wonderful picture of james dean from my daddy..and cards, and chocolates from a variety of people. and i bought myself a few things also, bathing suit, jewelry, and what have yous.. doesn't matter..
as for now i'm watching the biography on Jeanna Jameson, i have her book already, and it's practically the same thing, but there's nothing better on t.v.
forgive me for the lameness of this post..
exoh
soo.. i'm listening to the new armor for sleep well a few songs that i could locate over the internet.. and i must say i am very impressed way better then there last c.d..car underwater is a very very good song. ..
i'm so excited i don't have work for the next two days. tomorrow i'm picking up my bonus and what not.. running errons, then the mama and daddy are finally after two months meeting Jason.. haha.should be a good time.. Then change of plans for disney were going on friday instead of the 18th.. due to him getting promoted and not so sure on his new schedule for work, so it's better that we do it earlier then never at all. poor boy. all he does is work and sleep.. but i'm excited that were going.. a good v-day it shall be.. EeEeEeeE!!!
i got bored and painted my nails 'Bubble gum'.. and doing laundry, i'm not sleepy either so.. who knows what else i'll do by the end of the night.. anywho.. i don't feel like updating this anymore.. fuck it.
it was nice hearing your voice again..
this weather sucks.. my hair is resembling a cockatoo at the moment, and i'm [ this ] close to being able to put it in a pny tail once again.. You do not understand how happy that makes me feel.
now i'm off to spend money, and enjoy my day-off
i miss the boy real bad..
p.s. i'm drinking the biggest cup of tea right now, and jack just put his wet paws all over me....eeCckKkK..
i'm updating far too much lately..
and i've been listening to slipknot all night for some reason.. blah.. it's quite depressing. Far to much thinking of the past year.. i hate it. I'm beyond happy, but as always, dwelling in the past.. what i could have done to be a better person, and a better ex-girlfriend to a certain someone..your crossing my mind way too much recently..
i hope everything is working out with you.
That place in my mind...
Is that space that you call mine.
That place in my mind...
Is that space that you call mine...
Where have I been all this time?
Lost and slain; fatal decline.
I've been waiting for this to unfold...
But...
But pieces are only as good as they're whole.
Selling myself for my own life.
I cut off the only thing that was right.
What if I never saw you again?
I'd die right next to you in the end!
That place in my mind...
Is that space that you call mine.
That place in my mind...
Is that space that you call mine.
I wont let you walk away...
Without hearing what I have to say
Without hearing what I have to say...
i'm such a retard.
Why do you love me? Why do you need me? Always and forever... We met in a chatroom, now our love can fully bloom... Sure the world wide web is great, but you, you make me salivate... I love technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I STILL love technology... Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above... always and forever, always and forever... Why do you need me? Why do you love me? Always and forever...
...napoleon dynamite is great.. me and Celeste made 60 bucks at work today for singing that over the intercom at work today.. sweeett...
Tomorrow is full of nothing. perhaps going over to the boys to see him a few, then off he goes to work.. yadda yadda
Friday is full of picking up check, shopping, and Brighteyes with Erik..should be a fabulous time, i'm much excited. i highly doubt i'm going to see Strike anywhere though on saturday. We're celebrating Emily's b-day that evening so.. it looks like a big negative. on the show.. oh well.. seen em before anywho..
And i keep choking on the straw i'm chewing on.. and now it's time for Aerobic Striptease..
p.s. Roger my mom misses you. She was looking through my photo album, and came across a picture of you, that a few weeks ago i developed film and discovered you on it..Of course your smiling, and showing no teeth.. silly boy. and just to tell you how old it is.. It was taken when i had my corolla..Has it been that long? okay i'm getting all pouty and sad..do i even cross your mind?
could have been the begining of something great..shame on you.
<3
wow i just thought of something today... out of no where.. so..
Dear Bobby,
If you still even read this, i've come to the conclusion i am finally competely over you. It's Amazing.. i would have never thought.. but i guess it took way longer then usual.. so now, i think you should talk to me. because your super jealous girl has nothing to worry about. I'm over trying to steal ya away from that silly girl. I'm sure she lurks over this thing anywho.. and will somehow come across this.. but.. really.. i miss ya. come outta your hole, and talk to a Britni..=)
<3
hahahahaha.. i'm great really.. Smarter then your average bear.
all i have to say is Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease. haha.. it's fantastic.
and all i've been listening to today and all day yesterday is Glassjaw.. why? beats me, i'm in a kick.
I went to borders this evening and bought '52 tips for Bridesmaids' because i have no freakin idea what i'm suppose to do for Gwen's wedding. I'm jealous to say the lease.. She's so happy, it makes me sick.And i have to go along which is even sadder, Jason can't get off. I'd give anything to be that settled in my life. Roger would always tease me we'd get married and now look at us. though i know we wouldn't now far too soon, but the whole thought of it made me smile. I'm thinking outloud and crazy i must say. blah.. lets change the subject. Roger is a sour one when he's the topic of conversation. Though i miss the boy and his silly antics.
Friday-brighteyes with Erik. I'm much excited his new c.d is great, well both of em if you want to get technical. I drop my parents off at the airport on thursday morning, which means. If you see a girl with short blonde hair driving like a mad women in a silver infiniti. It's me and move outta my way..because i get crazy when i'm in that car. it's like a go cart compared to my truck.. I love it. i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about...
Anywho.. i must jump in the tub, and soak. and listen to music, and watch Carnivale.
night.
him: Do you have anything to do today?
me: nope
him: So you get to spend the whole day with me?
me: uh huh
him: Good, I like that.
need i say more?
well..well..well... so i've been at Gwenies all week being that her beau was outta town, we ruled the streets of bruce b downs in a bmw. and froze our asses off. she made me dinner, and cleaned house. It was fantastic..
last night.. pshh.. where to begin. it was great. went down to the irish pub in ybor with the boy and some of the fellas for Ryan's b-day, and i got drunk, too drunk. which ended up me throwing up everywhere.. and consistly saying over and over again.. 'I don't wanna be drunk anymore, This is so unattractive.' It was great, threw up this morning before me and Jason went to lunch and now i feel perfect. The group and what not are gonna make our presence made at the castle this evening, should be another drunken night, and dancing galore to 80's music. I love days off. =)
but things couldn't be any better really.. Valentines day is coming up, Jason's taking me to disney. EeEeEeEeEe!! It shall be wonderful.
And only i can have a fantastic friend who puts my ring tone as Napoleon Dynamite, I love Celeste and Napoleon.
Now i shall go love up on my dog, and fix me some sweet tea..
it's beautiful outside.. and i plan on taking it all in.
today will consist of picking up check. blah blah.. usual. Then the evening is filled with the boy of course, it shall be a lovely night. I haven't had a real update of my life, just bits and pieces of it here and there..but nothing drastic ever happens in my life, therefore no real update. The boys come and go, as always. Not something i'd choose to happen, but what can i do..nada..so i move on. Perhaps, a little too fast in some eyes, but sulking around the house and my friends will only bring me down more. Wheres the fun in that..And the fact that a boy has wanted me since he first laid eyes on me, is quite flattering. i must say. I'm a sucker.. so what. but there are times, when i do think back on past boys, and get all girly and miss them. that usually passes in a few moments but still it happens...and i miss them for a brief sec. and then it's gone..
I'm starved for attention..
My mother is set on me and my sister sending her to her grave early, which i highly doubt. she would miss us if we weren't around, or making her crazy, with my sister having babies, and me marking up my body with those 'horrible tattoos' It could be worse though, the way i look at it.. i could be a crack whore, chasing dreams with no success..
B aware that the human heart cannot be broken. -bukowski
oh i am aware alright..
I miss the way you sing low
So I can't hear your voice over
The radio in my car
But you knew every word they sang
You know just the right thing to say when the
Distance rips us farther and farther and farther away
I'll see you soon
If you're coming back this way again
Come back from California
All of us here in Florida
Are starved for your attention
Are starved for your attention
Come back from California
All of us here in Florida
Are starved for your attention
Are starved for your attention
Maybe I fell too fast
Maybe I pushed you away
Now you're gone and I'm afriad
That you're never coming back this away again
I'll see you soon
If you'll come back here
I'll see you soon
Just say that you want to see me too
Come back from California
All of us here in Florida
Are starved for your attention
Are starved for your attention
Come back from California
All of us here in Florida
Are starved for your attention
Are starved for your attention
You know I won't mind if you
Monopolize all my time
I won't say a thing at all
I won't say a word no
So come back from California
Come back from California
i love copeland and their lyrics..they hit straight at the heart.
i'm a great blonde now, and fucking hot if i do say so myself.
I miss me some Jason.
<3
Dear journal,
i love this a little too much....
[x] end post [x]
p.s. yay for fridays, and spending time with people who make me smile galore.
so i'm faking n baking again.. i'm gonna be nigger brown once again. and i'm going on thursday to go blonde.
I'm so O.C.
this week is promising. much time with the boy. I'm listening to The Used on repeat the past few days, the new c.d by the way.. And it reminds me far too much of you. And i know your reading this..i miss having you around. but then again i really do hate you for the time being. haha. i dunno i'm pulling this out of my ass, i'm making no sense what so ever to myself, and to who ever still reads this.
45t9egdhif blah blah blah...
okay i'm gonna head to bed, and rest my aching bones. And sleep away all these nasty thoughts of you in my head..
goodbye.
i mean really what the fuck..
i'm a fucking idiot.. when it comes to picking fellas..
tsk tsk..
but then again i could be over reacting..
or this could be karma.. biting me in the ass..
[x] edit [x]
i was over reacting.. <3
pantera is my guilty pleasure.. haha..
cemetary gates.
shhh... it's a secret.
<3
i hate how i'm so doubtdul of things.. if only i could take a piece of everyone i've ever been with put them in one, and the end result the perfect boy ever.. if only it was that easy..
I just got outta the shower, and perhaps i'll go see Phatom of the Opera in a little bit. by myself, i might add.. lame i know.. but it's the best i could do..
i would make this long and drawn out, but i won't..
lets just say i miss people..the calling of them, and hearing their voices, and going out with them, The way they made me feel, i miss the feeling that i was good enough, that i was their only thing, and thats all that matter..I'm not sure this is making any sense..i hope the person who it's directed to gets it..
just let me sleep some more.. it's easier that way.
so i didn't go to work today.. first time i have ever called in sick in the two years i've worked there... it's great.. did a little shopping today..as always.. what else is new. then roomed around Borders, and listened to music and read magazines, and ate.
and now i've just been laying around my bedroom, watching t.v, and blah blah..
i've decieded i'm going blonde, because it's so great, and my sandy brown hair is starting to gross me out. i'm so tempted to go out and buy the next cute little dog i see, but Jack would be heart broken, and i just couldn't bare to think he was mad at me. hah.. the things i do for that puppy dog. he was all snuggling on me, his wet nose all up in my neck.
My sides are aching from working out, and my hamstrings hurt.
sometimes we just have to let some things go...i promise i'll stop now
you know when you've found it... there's something i've learned.. because you feel it when they take it away..
this evening was good went out with the girls, i was upset by the conversation me and roger had the other evening and drowned my sorrows in alcohol.. i have no idea why.. i couldn't explain it myself, and it didn't help that i was listening to Damien Rice. but whatever.. it's better that i just don't talk to him.. ever.. untill i'm finally done with what attachment i had to him. and i'm pretty close to being done..
but anywho, I'm going to the boys after work tomorrow, and i am extremely happy.
and now i'm gonna find a snack... because right now i'm drunk, and lonely, and it's great..
P.S. my banana republic purse is the greatest thing i own right now.
love always,
the richest and greatest girl to walk this great earth.
so i'm alone this evening, the boy went down south to visit a friend.. hmph. Last night went over to his apartment, hung out watched T.v/Movies, then went to bed around 2 but didn't actually go to sleep till about 4.. the conversations consisted of our first meeting, and meetings from after that.. It made me feel wonderful and wanted and beautiful.then around 4 he was like "mmm, There is two pieces of cold pizza in the fridge you want one?!?!".*smile* I miss him tons, he doesn't return till saturday, but i won't see him untill next wednesday evening. blah. sucks.
I'm so full my mama made baked ziti this evening for my aunts b-day, and red velvet cake.. you are offically jealous..
I was gonna go camping this evening with some friends but passed on it, too full and way too tired to rough it out for the evening in a tent.Tomorrow i'm picking up my check, and getting my hair cut, or lack of hair cut. The 'Mullet' has got to go..then i'm most likely gonna go shop..surprise surprise..but as for now i'm sitting here at this thing, listening to cursive, I'll probably watch Garden State again, later b/c i love it, and anyone who thinks otherwise, is a dumb fuck. it's either that or Eternal Sunshine For the Spotless mind.. but that movie reminds me far to much of bobby, and i'd rather not think about him.
My O.C.D was outta control today when i came home.. i removed everything from it's shelfs and dusted cleaned yadda yadda..straighened, washed.. u get the idea.
After the movies
In the parking lot
We stared so long
And you kissed me
With ripe young breath
So I kissed you
One night as forever
In the movies
Well, they never had it so good
One moment
So infinite
On soft wet lips
And I miss you
Are you glad I'm finally gone?
I'm so sorry to hear that
I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry
Have I hurt you?
I have hurt myself
These sad songs won't change anything
Love as fragile as a wineglass
It should have been forever
Love as fragile as a wineglass
It couldn't last forever
I'm so sorry
It couldn't last forever
I remember how we kissed
One night as forever
i'm stubborn and hard headed, and lazy, and selfish, and i think highly of myself..
and i'm richrichrichrichrichrich......hahahahahaha!
random post, bored taking a break from reading my bukowski book..hum de dum de dum...
i love how i get excited when i'm walking into my favorite clothing store or when i'm sitting down about to eat.
more random....random.. hmph. okay i'm done. back to the infamous Charles B.
ta ta
so i'm gonna be country as fuck on January.29 me and Emily are going to go see Hank Williams Jr. with Big and Rich. Break out the jean skirt and cowboy boots, and i'm set.. It will be a drunken redneck time of course.. I'm so so so excited. eEeeEe! ha! so work was great today slow, i loved it.
So i'm gonna be nigger rich in about a week or so.. i get paid on friday. that will be around 600. and then since over christmas we made our goal for work. so we made our bonus's also.. which will end up being around $800-$900, you do the math. and you wanna know what it is all going to.. Concert tickets, and clothes, and more shoes.. more MAC.. more little bit of everything. then i will be poor again, and live pay check to pay check. i'm excited. and you are jealous.
and i'm happily down to 118 again.. i love my rib cage, and hip bones to death, a little more then i should but whatever. I'm skinny, and rich, and have a great b/f, and a great dog, and a fantastic family. and wonderful friends, and I'm awesome. And i'm going to see Hank Jr. what more could i possibly need/want?
I have out done myself..
<3
random pics.. of new years, and riding around at Gwens, frezzin my ass off..
i'm lonely and tired..and miss the boy.
it was a great new years, i'll post pictures later, i don't want to go to work today..I'm listening to country all day, and probably all week to,
I'm southern, and have the accent to prove it..
i'm growing out my hair, to be as long as it use to be..it should take about year n half.. then i'll cut it all off again..
i'm excited that its the new year, and i have great friends and a boy to start it off with. Though they won't read this, I'm thankful for them..They mean everything to me.
and i'm ending with that..
<3
