said your lonely.

so i just read over my whole journal...it's amazing how much i've grown in the past two years.. lord.. how ridiculous i was..

              This week has been extremely busy..
Me and Celeste have box seats for tomorrow's football game.. though i am not a fan of football, i'm going for the heck of a good time..and free drinks?...
I'm not quite sure what the weekend is gonna hold for me..

- me and gwen treated ourselves to Sweet Tomato's for lunch today..
-now my mama is asking me to sleep in bed with her..

i'm sleeping..
g'nite
brit

..anything.

+home from work.. at a decent hour amazing..eh..
+we had the boys this weekend..all three of them. i favored Lucas. Lyrik as usual was a brat, but the cutest brat i've ever seen.
+Spent saturday at Gameworks for my little cousins 8 b-day. Jason stayed at the fishing game, but i on the other hand wanted, to play time crisis, or night of the living dead III...
+Sunday was a great ending to the weekend.. i enjoyed every smile you gave, and all the giggling that you did...It was wonderful seeing your blue eyes again..
+now i'm laying around, and about to head to the water where i belong..



fall is coming..can you feel it?


<3


i can honestly say at this very moment i am happy..

flirt with my best friend

so i get approved to get a bike, monthly payments yadda yadda...i call my dad all excited about everything.. my mother gives me a speech about how i'm putting my live on the line..but anywho

This morning they call me and tell me i can look for a puppy right away and get one instead of a bike..i don't want a puppy, i want a bike. period. but this happens everytime i get my mind set on something big..they always throw the puppy deal in.. i thought you wanted a toy yorkie....and i'm like i do but i'd rather have this. it's not as if ya'll are paying for it.. ya know.. who knows..I'm gonna try to talk to them some more..but it looks as if by the end of this week..i'll have a new bike in the garage or a tiny little boy in my arms...


I'm happy don't get me wrong but when i get my head set on something..there's no changing it..


<3

further west.

                                   do you wanna come over and kill some time
                                             throw your arms around me
                                                                <3

..breath of sunshine..

i haven't felt quite myself this past weekend..perhaps i'm at a great mind blowing changing part of my life.. i can't really grasp it though.. I have tons of thoughts going through my head..


           sometimes i just really want to quit everything.. move away from this place, and live in a strange place alone.. and start everything all over.. ya know.. just go..

I'm talking crazy talk i know....
i really hate work now a days it's the same shit everyday.. every fucking day..
i'm too fucking young to feel like this..
i'd give anything to be back in H.S.. life was so easy..
i need to get my shit together..
 i need to sign up for school..do something with myself.

i believe my bitch fest is over..




...cross your fingers and hope i don't do anything crazy..

sad sorry excuse.

why on earth do i put up with things?


...a boyfriend who would rather sit around at his apartment, and get drunk with his friends..a boyfriend who works 12 hour days..leaving only maybe two days i get to see him...and he'd rather get drunk. instead of hang out with his girlfriend.. yeah i could give a shit if he hangs out with his friends rather then me.. but that fact that i don't ever see him.. thats another story..and then he had the nerve to cope an attitude with me, because i accidently coughed in the phone.. forgive me for being sick.. but don't make fun of me..and then i say sorry, and he sweetly says 'Thank you Baby'..that right there.. makes me more livid then anything...i could go on and on..i'm that typical girl right now who puts up with the shitty boyfriend who constantly say.. he isn't like this all the time.. He's worth the good times.. I'm that fucking girl right now..

it's my own damn fault for putting up with it...i really just want to lay in bed and be miserable...              if i had the guts i would just end it all..


    I have never been alone.. it's sad really when i think about it..I have always had a boy in my life..always a back up. since i was 16..i have never been a month without someone there...gosh.. what the hell is wrong with me..

              i promise myself if this thing this so called relationship doesn't make it much longer..       I'm staying alone for a very long time..
   thats that...

                                             night

..under the sheets..

'It seems like you’re holding me down and it just seems pointless to work this thing out. So what’s holding me back? A lifelong friendship’s not worth this. I’ll hide this one deep underground Convenience can comfort you now but the words that you said you can never have back. I’m warning you now, when you realize you made a mistake I’ll be sure to kick while you’re down. I gave you this gift, now I’m here alone and I’m paying for it. Our light’s almost out but I’ll smile again the day that you figure out….. …….I was all that you had.'

i love me some quotes..
exoh.
brit
 

open your eyes...

doin the whole picture update...hah..



i'm going over to my Sisters now, for Lucas's B-day party.. 1 years old..YAY! YAY!... Mr. fat Boy.. Though i'll probably mess with Lyrik the whole time.. that red curly haired boy is too cute for his own good...




okay..that is all..


_________________________later this evening________________________




so i just bought my tickets for PENNYWISE for The St.Pete show.. now i don't have to venture up to Orlando by my lonesome..they are playing there the 24th of Sept. eEeCckKkK...and sometime this week i'm gonna check with Celeste with the Alk.3/Chemical Romance show.. to see if Ashley can get tickets if not, i shall be buying mine..and Acceptance is coming in two weeks....and Rilo Kiley is coming with coldplay.....i'm babbling i know...today was a good lazy day i needed it...




also in two weeks i believe i'm going to head down to Ft. Myers and see Mike to add more to my back  piece instead of touching it up...along with that i'm trying to get ideas for my half sleeve...If only the kids from H.S could see me now..psshhh... i'm not soo innocent.. The Allstar Cheerleader they once knew is far gone.......

haha...

i'm sleepy now.
night

white trash

So i just returned from Jacksonville Beach..eh.. more like last night.. was a fabulous time..the drive there and back were memorable..

and so since i've been 'uninvited' to the wedding haha.. i'm not going to get into it.. i have off from work till tuesday. very nice.. So i think i shall wash my dirty ass truck... venture down to the beach.. and just be lazy..









so i've heard that white trash rubs off.... so in the next couple of days i guess i'm gonna look/act/smell/taste like white trash.. Roger get fucking over it. I seriously am tired of the bullshit.. so i'm better off without our so called friendship..haha.. if it ever was one.. more like a fucked up situation but hey..thats just the white trash talking... i swear boy you are something else.

bad mouth me all you want to your little friends..
                                        like i give a shit
________________________________________________________

So, i was even more white trash today.. while i was over at my daddys about to wash my truck he asked me if i wanted to go to breakfast..ppssshh..of course.. so i put the washing a side and me, my mama, and daddy went to Hard Rock for the brunch buffet they have.. which there me and my mother sipped on mamosa.. (Champagne and Orange Juice) and i proceeded to eat chocolate dipped strawberrys.. sushi and shrimp galore... followed by that wonderful experience i sat down at a slot machine put in 20 bucks.. and walked away from it with $47.. It was my lucky day..HOT DAMN!... After that we went to the gun show..and my mom kept following the sound of a taser gun..She was obsessed with it.. Myself on the other hand searched for a certain type of 12 gauge bullets..and a switchblade. My dad traded in his 9mm for a glock....and we happily returned home..and my dad played with his new toy, and my and my mama watched Goodfellas.. Only leading me to crave Italian Food..eEeEeE... What a wonderful day it was...

Now i'm home listening to the new Pennywise, and being much excited about seeing them in Sept.. with whoever will have me..

 <3
Betty Joe Double Wide

..The Giant.

..Thank you.. No harm done..I would have been the same way as you are..We are both in the same situation, so it seems..








Today was long and busy.. surprise surprise.. So we're not going down south due to Red Tide.. psshh..gimme a break.. Suck it up Mom.. really. But whatever 5 days off to do nothing.. I'm excited to be a bum though, Who knows what i'll do with my days...

Jack just put the biggest wet spot on my bed spread...speaking of jack, i want a puppy really bad. Now my mother keeps teasing him with my elephants taunting him..because he knows he can't get em'..mean ol' Moe...


i'm going to the gym now.. to put my new Nike 5.0 in good use..


<3

.....truthfully...

i'm sorry for your heartache...
that coming from a stranger.
i know it means nothing.








i'm cranky &
my throat hurts..

...crawling away...

 

"I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

to the rain...

____________________________




we are amazing..i must say that..



____________________________






weekend was good..i could go into this long list of great moments and down moments but i do that far too much..so why bother. it was a good weekend nuff said...i leave on thursday to escape this horrid place and lay in the sun all week/weekend..and i don't return to work till tuesday. very nice. I'm hungry i had a portabella  sp? mushroom panini from Panera bread for lunch today, and that was at noon, and now i'm starving again..and i want asian/japanese/thai food really bad.. EeEeEeE... anywho..






Ryan Adams is amazing.. i wish wiskeytown was still together. i wanna see Lucero again.. i could watch/listen to Ben Nichols everyday for the rest of my life and be okay with that..





okay..
i'm done

love always,
Queen of Lurking

K.....

it's funny at this moment.. though i hate eh. hates a strong word.. i don't favor someone that much.. i just read over something that hits close to the last post..i'm not making sense.. but i'd feel like a loser if i typed their name right now..

from the first moment i've heard her name.. i've disliked the little thing. I've tried to pick her apart, compare myself to her, find things that i've got on her, and vice versa.. It hasnt' done any good. there is no point to it.. It will never gain or get me anywhere. or should i say back with someone.. hah...


it's amazing how pathetic i seem isn't it? i bet you giggle and smirk everytime you read over this thing.. who knows you might not even read over it. i'm going out on a limb here and guessing you do..we're in the same boat, so i've read.. I Hope you understand why i am the way i am then towards him.. why it tears me apart when i can't even talk to someone who was my best friend for almost 2 years...Jealousy gets the best of us..








if we met on other terms. perhaps we'd get along

the reason.

i had horrible sushi today with Mike and Gwen.
blah..now i don't feel too cute.

tomorrow i'm venturing down south..to become a drunken mess.

i need more tattoos.i didn't say want for a reason.. but i need them. not want them.


the other evening i came across haha.. it makes me laugh when i think about it.  But i came across the bowl bobby bought for me my first b-day we ever spent together down in clearwater, i was turning 18 and me him and lisa sat in the hotel room and drank girlie drinks. and i proceeded to show off my skim board skills. i was a joke.  then i drove 2 hours to drop him off at home because he couldn't sleep with me, i remember me and lisa sitting in my corrolla driving half asleep, and all i could talk about was how much Bobby drove me crazy (in a good) i was head over heels for the boy.  After i came across that little gift, i sat down on the floor in my room and spread out every letter/card the boy ever wrote me, and i remembered how young and in love we were. i don't think i have ever felt that same way towards anyone. I'm a horrible person for what i did to that boy...



time heals all wounds? yeah! sure thing!





<3

dead.

saw the devils rejects this weekend..
proceeded to get drunk at the 'Hang-out'
threw a deck of cards at a random guy because he asked me what i was getting into.
went shootin at the gun range..
made myself puke at the end of the night..
closed the toliet lid on my head a few times..
and this weekend
Thursday getting my hair did...very nice.
Saturday going up to Orlando on a party bus for Charlenes Bachorlette Party..














'Chinese...Japanese..Dirty Knees..Look at these..'

I sang that to Jason all weekend..and now he hates me.. :o)



thee end..