sad sorry excuse.

why on earth do i put up with things?


...a boyfriend who would rather sit around at his apartment, and get drunk with his friends..a boyfriend who works 12 hour days..leaving only maybe two days i get to see him...and he'd rather get drunk. instead of hang out with his girlfriend.. yeah i could give a shit if he hangs out with his friends rather then me.. but that fact that i don't ever see him.. thats another story..and then he had the nerve to cope an attitude with me, because i accidently coughed in the phone.. forgive me for being sick.. but don't make fun of me..and then i say sorry, and he sweetly says 'Thank you Baby'..that right there.. makes me more livid then anything...i could go on and on..i'm that typical girl right now who puts up with the shitty boyfriend who constantly say.. he isn't like this all the time.. He's worth the good times.. I'm that fucking girl right now..

it's my own damn fault for putting up with it...i really just want to lay in bed and be miserable...              if i had the guts i would just end it all..


    I have never been alone.. it's sad really when i think about it..I have always had a boy in my life..always a back up. since i was 16..i have never been a month without someone there...gosh.. what the hell is wrong with me..

              i promise myself if this thing this so called relationship doesn't make it much longer..       I'm staying alone for a very long time..
   thats that...

                                             night